New Year is often a time fraught with resolutions and goals for most. Some of us don’t even start because we know statistics say that almost 50% of us will peter out and loose the drive before the end of the month! How depressing!
When talking to patients at their wellness visits, I am often listening for partnership opportunities with my tribe to help them set realistic goals and develop plans to enable them to achieve a long-term lifestyle change.
When discussing goals with my patients I often find them setting big goals that they themselves often admit feel overwhelming, unrealistic, and unachievable given their busy work schedules, family commitments, resource deficits, lack of time, and often lack of motivation. “It seems so big! I don’t even know where to start” is a common frustration that my patients share with me.
I tailor my specific advice to fit the individual situation but the foundation of the plan is always grounding in my 4 Pro-Tips that I have used over and over.
My 4 Pro-Tips:
I say tiny steps and not small because sometimes even small steps depending on the person can seem daunting but even a baby when learning to walk can take tiny steps.
An example of a tiny step is for one patient I told her to start by just waking up and putting her Peleton bike shoes. I remember she laughed at me. She thought I was crazy and that I was playing with her, but I was serious. I even put it in her chart under patient goals and we followed up. I’ve done it before with other patients, but she took me up on this small step. When I followed up with her in 4 weeks, she told me that she felt silly, but she did it every day just like I asked.
She said her husband laughed at her, but she just kept on doing it. Day after day for four weeks she put on those shoes and then took them off. By the last week she said was in the habit and had begun to do it really without thinking and she noticed that she had also stopped hanging her clothes in the bike like sha had in the past. She understood finally what I was saying that tiny steps will mentally lead to other tiny steps that before long can eventually lead to the actionable goal. It’s the preparation both physically and then mentally. The act of committing to something very tiny and building the habit though it seems ridiculous is the foundation for lasting change.
When I’m conducting my physicals, I used to ask patients “Do you eat health?” Oh, my what a landmine did I step on. I was besieged with so many excuses, apologies, and ‘I know I should eat healthier’. Perceiving that my patients felt judged by my innocent question I changed it to “Do you feel you eat healthy about 75% of the time?” This question acknowledges the humanity and reality of sweet tooths, salty cravings, pizza Friday’s or a myriad of other delights that are not centered around what is technically considered healthy. Eating a variety of veggies and fruits is just as important as taking moments to indulge ourselves and enjoy in true moderation some of our favorite foods that bring us joy.
Maybe it’s my philosophy of being perfectly imperfect but I believe that acknowledging our cravings occasionally can (for somethings) keep us on track. If we fall off into a particular craving, then that’s something that we must set boundaries for to prevent us from staying off the wagon.
For me, I have a weakness for Golden Oreos! Oh my gosh I love them. But I know to have them in the house means that I will devour a whole pack in less than 3 days all on my own. As such I keep those out of my houses. It doesn’t mean that I don’t eat them rarely but when I do it’s usually at the office or some other location when the treat can be shared amongst others.
I have embarked on a goal to learn Spanish. I am using an app called Duolingo to help me. While my daily goal time of <5min a day see first tip above about tiny steps if you laugh that it’s not a lot of time is usually very easy to achieve this goal with my busy schedule; but still there are times when life gets even busier, and I forget or run out of time. The thing I love about the app is that it will try and send me reminders but if I miss one day I have earned “freezes” by being consistent for so long. These “freezes” save and protect my streak. The app essentially gives me grace—acknowledging that sometimes I might a day because I lost track. I recommend you do the same for yourself. Life gets busy we strive for perfection but in our imperfection, we are still perfect.
Have you ever been doing something to only realize it no longer fits with your goals and wishes? Have you ever been going somewhere new and while the GPS is on you discover that the way the GPS is taking you is not the way you want to go? Whether it’s a traffic jam that causes you to need a different route; a realization that you need to make a personal detour its often not a bad idea to stop and reexamine your route. Renewing your thoughts or plans for how to approach a goal throughout the process is a vital step.
Often when I’m counseling patient’s regarding weight loss goals and techniques I often hear “I know what I need to eat it’s just doing it” or I’ll hear “I don’t want to talk with a nutritionist I know what I need to do.”. Often times I’ll let that response stand while approaching the goal from another avenue but when those routes don’t achieve a result or help them arrive at their goal; I circle back to my initial recommendation and explain that while what they may have heard from the news, magazines, gurus or even their old general practitioner it might be a good idea to sit down with someone and find out what works specifically for you. Having a review of how you are doing on your journey can help you to make early pivots when necessary and can help you stay on track.
The process of maintaining goals whether they are New Years related or not requires having a strategy that will increase likelihood of success. Taking things slowly, not biting off more than you can chew is an essential first step. Taking on more than you can handle is a setup for failure and feeling inadequate. Recognizing that missteps or setbacks are bound to happen, persevering and getting back on the horse while giving yourself the grace to be human will give you the space to keep going even when the times get rough or tough. Most importantly reflection on progress and direction will prevent aiming toward a goal that no longer suits or serves you. Keep these 4 tips in mind as you continue in this New Year and the next. The tips are timeless and can be applied to many different situations!